Greetings to the New Jew

I am welcoming a new Jew of color to the tribe. Jewess Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs welcomed a baby boy.  I hope mother and baby are well. It’s nice to see more diversity added to our variegated tribe.

When your friends are family

Due to difficulties in my life, I have had to do something I normally never do- ask for help. As someone who is an activist and generally a strong and resilient woman, asking others for help in my time of need is a sign of weakness. I’m used to carrying my burdens alone. However, recent events have required me to admit the burdens I am carrying and seek the help of others.

Mi amiga mejor, Aliza Hausman describes Jews as her family. I have a family I can depend on yet I have experienced the help of the Jewish community at my most desperate moments.  Indeed, if I had not received the help and encouragement of klal Yisrael, I would not have achieved as much as I have in life.

Yesterday, after a very trying situation, I was worried about my ability to move forward. However, Hashem sent my atheist friend, who was visiting town for the day, to help me out.  Another Unitarian friend has given me help to sustain myself, and I am planning my future. I have Jewish friends from New York City, Pennsylvania, England, and Israel who are all helping me envision a brighter future.

I am suddenly reminded of the line of “Close Every Door” in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Children of Israel are never alone. I am happy that as a Jew, I am never alone.

RIP Ted Kennedy

With great sadness did I learn earlier this morning that Senator Ted Kennedy passed away. He was 77 years old and the last Kennedy son. Although he had a sometimes turbulent personal life, Kennedy was a committed public servant who worked to better the conditions of working men and women everywhere.

I send my condolences to the Kennedy family, as they have lost both Eunice and Ted within two weeks. Yes, they may be part of a privileged Camelot dynasty, but losing two family members within a month is nothing no mortal should bear.  I simply hope the administration reflects on Senator Kennedy’s contributions continues their fight for health care.

RIP Ted Kennedy

Ted Kennedy

1932-2009

Vote for Y Love

United Jewish Communities is looking to recognize community heroes. One of the nominees includes a friend of mine, JOC blogger, rapper, and Afro-Puertorican Orthodox Jew Yitz Jordan aka Y Love.  I recommend you check out his hit, Change.

Support your fellow Jew of color and vote for Yitz at the UJC website.

http://www.jewishcommunityheroes.org/nominees/profile/yitzchak-jordan/

Long time, no post

I haven’t updated the blog in awhile because I’ve realized that all good activists need to unplug and take of themselves for a second. In the past year, I’ve helped get the first African-American president elected, founded a group for Jew of color activists, attempted to elect a shining liberal in the deep South (that didn’t work), humbled a few organizations on their treatment of Jews of color, and refined some activist tools for Jews of color. I realize I have done all of this within one calendar year. I’m surprised I’m not more exhausted.

However, I now understand all of this work came at the expense of someone very important-myself.  I have given so much of myself to help Jews of color that I am not accomplishing milestones that are important to me.  I will definitely continue with my work, but I will take some shabbats to just breath and enjoy the experience. I need to recharge my batteries and figure out how to live a full life.

Tomorrow will begin my renewed journey as an activist, yet today I will ponder my future as a Jewish woman of color, potential spouse and mother.

How are mixies treated in Israel?

Lisa would be accepted in Israel, would you?

While I truly believe that all Jews of color face hardships, I have observed that a hierarchy exists. The lighter you are in appearance as a Jew of color, the easier time you have being accepted by the Ashkenazi mainstream in both the United States and Israel. This stratification system is especially pertinent to females, who often “free agents” in racial politics. A recent letter posted by mi Jewminicana by a black Jewish woman in Israel confirms my suspicions: biracial/mixed race Jews are more accepted in Israel than black Jews.

I was not the only Jew of color on my Birthright Israel trip. There were 3 Hapas (Half Asian/Half Ashkenazi) Jews and one African-American Conservative convert who attended my Israel Experts Birthright trip. Although we were all Jews of color, we had varied experiences on the trip.

The other mixed race female and I were treated extremely well in Israel. Everyone thought I was a “pretty Sephardi girl” or an “African/Ashkenaz” mixie and some people spoke Hebrew to me because they though I was a native. Honestly, there isn’t as much of a stigma to interracial dating in Israel. Three of our Israeli tour guides had one Ashkenaz parent and one Sephardi or Mizrahi parent. No one questioned my Jewishness.  Even ultra Orthodox Jews were eager to set me up with local men. I felt as though I had finally found my place in the Jewish community.

On the other hand, the male Jews of color experienced greater difficulties integrating themselves into Israeli society.  One Hapa male, who looked very Asian, found that many Israelis questioned his Jewishness and wondered why he was visiting Israel. The African-American convert had his Jewishness questioned at the wailing wall, where an Orthodox man told him he wasn’t a Jew and did not give him a tefilin. One of our tour guides comforted him while I explained this incident is unfortunately a common reality for Jewish people of color.  The only Hapa male who had postive experiences on the trip had an ambiguous and almost Ashkenazi countenance.

I am still quite troubled by the duplicitous behavior in Israel and the United States. While I have had personal difficulties dating in the Jewish community due to lack of options in rural America, I have found in larger communities that men are more willing to make long term commitments and advances towards me than my more richly hued counterparts. I find this comportment troubling and internecine to the needs of Am Yisrael.

My experiences in Israel weren’t singular. I am noticing an analogous pattern from many Jews of color who have visited Israel.  Biracial Jews, male or female, are treated better in Israel than their Black or Asian counterparts.   However, biracial females are often more accepted due to their visage.  Additionally, the larger gender and race politics in addition to the stereotypes associated with them (i.e. angry Black male or weak Asian male) do influence personal interactions among various groups within our community . I simply wonder if their is anything we can do to alleviate the problem.

Growing African-American Judaism

Approximately 55 African-American men and women converted to Judaism in Cairo, Illinois.  Apparently12 more men and women on waiting on conversions. This Forward article highlights the trend. This phenomeon is similar to the beginnings of African-American Judaic communities that abandoned Christians practices in the early 1900. NPR conducted a wonderful interview with several of the congregants in this town.

Even Atlanta hosts a burgeoining African-American Jewish population. I have several African-American Jewish friends who reside in this city, and found the Jewish residents very welcoming to me as a Jew of color when I worked on the Martin Campaign in Hotlanta. I am considering having a guest poster chronicle their life as a Dixie Jew of color.

An Open Letter to G-d on Tu B’Av

Is this a reality for Jewish singles anymore?

For those of you that aren’t Jewish and venture to this site, Tu B’Av is the Jewish equivalent of Valentine’s Day.  Of course, Mixedjewgirl has been so unlucky in love for so many years, that I am beginning to stop caring. Nevertheless, I am penning this open letter to G-d about the state of Jewish dating.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tu_B%27Av

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/holidays/Jewish_Holidays/Modern_Holidays/Tu_BAv.shtml

Dear G-d,

Can you please explain to the women of all races, creeds, and sexual orientations why the modern dating game has become so difficult? I understand why you might want to divert your attention to the Israel/Palestinian conflict,  or maybe your waiting to send a message to Sarah Palin, but single, 20 something mixed race Jewesses could use some help in the love department. If I remember my shiurs correctly, you’re a busy entity because you are supposed to be spending time matching the tribes of Israel into families.  As a fairly devout follower, I have these grievances to lodge against the current state of affairs.

1. Why did you make so many of the attractive, intelligent, culturally aware men of the world gay? I understand that you created all of us in your image in your infinite wisdom, but did you ever think that it might break the hearts of so many straight woman to find out that most of  the men who think, smell nice, and aren’t interested in us for “just our bodies” are batting for the other team. I understand and believe that gay men deserve an adonis, but throwing the straight women a bone here or there wouldn’t hurt either. BTW, can you do a little more intervention on homophobia? It totally sucks that so many gay men are in the closet. Gay men dating straight girls to avoid heckling by straights doesn’t help the gay man nor improve the straight girl’s self-esteem.

2. Jdate. Seriously, Hashem, what were you thinking? Did you really think an international meat market, even if it is “kosher” would solve the dating problem for Hebrews? While I certainly won’t blame you for the dude who whacked off on the phone to my banal conversation because he had a “black woman fetish,” I really think you need to consider the effectiveness of online Jewish dating. While I’m not huge on the matchmaker making a comeback, I would take Barbara Streisand as Dolly Levi as my dating guru before I would subject myself to another creepy 50 year old asking my 20 something self on a date.

3. Why are so many men afraid of committment? I comprehend that part of the current dating dilemmas of the Hebrew fold are related to issues with female. I admit, I can be neurotic at times, but I’m not that bad. However, I would like an explanation as to why so many  Jewish men who are 35 still want to play the field and not commit. As I’m hearing the death knell for my 20s, I’m surprised that so many men of the tribe are still commitment phobes into their 40s.  WTF?

4. Why are Black and Jewish screwed in the love game?

Unfortunately, 70 percent of my Black sisters are unmarried according the the 2005 Census. Another 45 percent of us have never been married.  While I certainly believe that some of these women never wish to marry, many of them would like to “jump the broom.” The fact we’re  achieving more in higher education isn’t helping either.  We have far too many single mother headed households, which may explain part of the reason why we have less marriage.  Why would the guys marry if they don’t have any societal pressure or incentive  to be married? What are we going to do to encourage the younger generation to step up to marriage? G-d, if you could deliver the answer to this one, the NAACP would definitely give you an Image Award.

My Hebrew sisters aren’t doing much better. Researchers Sylvia Barack Fishman and Palmer found that many Jewish women intermarried for different reasons than Jewish men. Jewish women intermarried because they couldn’t find Jewish male partners, while many of the male respondents in the study didn’t want to marry Jewish women. Indeed, the 1990 study found that non Jewish men and women felt that Jewish women had more positive attributes than Jewish men. Jewish women want Jewish partners, but Jewish men aren’t so sure. As an earlier entry on this blog explored, we have to ask why Jewish men are leaving Jewish life.

I tried interfaith dating, but it didn’t work for me. As one ex Gentile boyfriend aptly stated, I am “simply too Jewish to make an interfaith relationship work.” It didn’t help that the Gentile ex boyfriend that followed him tried to convert me to Christianity. Besides, I keep kosher, want to spend time working for Jews of color in Israel, and my entire life revolves around Judaism. I got the message, G-d,  I’m keeping my dating in the tribe.

Honestly, when I was 23, I was looking for love, but I always thought I would be on my way to marriage at this time in my life. I didn’t do stupid things like date bad boys or give it up to sleazy guys I would hate later. I got the degree, gave back to both of my communities, and became a mentor to kids with problems.  I’m not going to lie, I never expected my future spouse to look like Liev Schreiber and my needs are pretty simple. I want a nice, slightly nerdy Jewish man who pays his bills, respects his mama without being ruled by her, has a touch of kindness, and wants to build a nice Jewish family. Knowing enough Hebrew to daven is a plus, but he can always build those skills.  He doesn’t have to make Bill Gates money, but if the two of us can must a decent middle class existence between both of our incomes, I’d be thrilled.

At this present time, I haven’t totally given up on my pursuit of my beshert. I’m still optimistic. On the other hand, my biggest fear is that a chuppah may not happen. If it doesn’t at least I know I still have adoption or the opportunity to bear a child on my own. Hopefully, I would still lead a fulfilling life if I cannot find a partner.

I’m sending up a prayer for all of the Jewish singles this Tu B’Av. Can you give our needs a little priority right now?

Humbly,

Mixedjewgirl

Suing colleges

The Anthem of the Young and Underemployed

I’ve always been sedulous with my studies. I was the type of student who always made the honor roll from elementary school thru high school. In my baccaulaurette studies, I graduated mangna cum laude, won two national awards as a researcher, had two pretigious internships, and acquired 3 years experience in human services. I acheived 4.0 semester g.p.a while simultaneously working 35 hours a week.  Due to recent recession, I am grossly underemployed outside of my field and making a mere pittance of my skill set .

I never arrogantly assumed that I would procure lucrative offers upon graduation. My first interview after graduation was rather disturbing. After the interviewer gushed over my credentials, and was genuinely impressed that I was more qualified than many graduate students. Unfortunately, he told me that I was overqualified for the position he could offer me, and that he could only offer me slightly above minimum wage. While I have had to take a job that offers me similar wages in a more affordable area, I comprehend the nature of the current economic conundrum and know the situation will not improve for years. Similar to many educated Americans, I am ensconced in underemployment.

While I certainly believe college should be accessible, I do wonder if we have made a grievous mistake in making college degree an essential qualification in some fields. Many restaurants and retail businesses require managers to have a college diploma. The flaw in this agenda is that many students graduate from undergrad with 22,000 to 40,000 dollar indebtedness. Incurring large amounts of debt does not aide students in these fileds, who may make only 30,000 upon gradution. Indeed, most of my managers in my working poor positions as a waitress or cashier are college graduates. In previous eras, individuals who wished to work in these fields could simply ascend the ranks of the company through seniority and hard work, sans college loans. Perhaps we should reconsider a return to this paradigm.

Trina Thompson is suing her alma mater, Monroe College for its inability to help her find employment.  Thompson is an everywoman for the recent graduate. She has an undergraduate degree in information technology, is 70,000 in debt, and has very few prospects for her future. Monroe College is a technical colleges are robbing students of considerable sums of money, and guaranteeing job placement. Monroe College’s practices are without conscience.  Some people interpret her decision to sue Monroe College as an example of the sue happy society. However, I hope her case imbues society with serious dialogue about student loan debt and the lack of opportunity for our generation to advance in our careers.

Drake: The Mixed Jew Rapper

Perhaps you’ve heard the hit “Best I ever had” on the radio this summer. What you may not have known is that the rapper in question, Drake (aka Aubrey Drake Graham) is a biracial Jew. His mother, is an Ashkenazi Jewish Canadian and his father is Dennis Graham, a former drummer for Jerry Lee Lewis.

Drake was previously featured as an actor on Degrassi: The Next Generation.  However, he chose to foray his skills into music. Drake has several connections in the industry. His uncles include Larry Graham from Sly and the Family Stone, and Teenie Hodges, a songwriter for Al Green.

Enjoy this hit.